To fake being an extravert is not that difficult when you've mastered the skill of meaningless chit chat. However, I've noticed that to acquire that skill you need an active interest in the person you're communicating with. I've noticed that people with a natural interest in other people seem to be perceived as extraverts. To learn that interest in other people can be a challenging task and after twenty years of practice I still haven't mastered it myself...
In his book, "What Got You Here Won't Get You There", Marshall Goldsmith says that everyone has the capacity to be like Bill Clinton. Bill Clinton is a legendary communicator who makes anyone feel like they are the most important person in the room[1]. When are we like Bill Clinton? When we want to make our best possible impression - first date, job interview. The difference is Bill Clinton does this all day long, with everyone. Extraordinary energy.
[1] But on Tuesday, Obama could not praise his one-time rival too warmly, jokingly
recounting how Clinton's famous schmoozing skills had persuaded him to attend.
"I think everyone knows what it's like when Bill Clinton asks you to make a commitment," Obama said.
"He looks you in the eye, he feels your pain, he makes you feel like you're the only person in the room. What could I say? I was vulnerable, just like all of you have been vulnerable, to his charms."
I wonder why would one want to put an effort into making people feel like they're most important person in the room? Obviously, there are a lot of interesting people around, why spend time and energy into communicating with others?
I think the difference between making a friend and making an acquaintance is sharing stories. Emphasis added in italics below
> At the Jefferson Boulevard entrance to the campus, the guard at the gatehouse broke into a smile upon hearing Haden’s name. The guard, Eric Johnson, stepped out from his kiosk and explained that in his early 20s, he worked for a messenger service. One day he completed a downtown delivery to Haden, who stopped to converse with him for a few minutes.
With the exception of his time at Oxford, Haden has spent his entire adult life as the guy everybody knows as soon as he walks into the room. His friends say Haden’s gift is that he leaves knowing everybody else’s stories.
"He has such compassion and humility," said J. K. McKay, who caught Haden’s passes at Bishop Amat High in La Puente, Calif., east of Los Angeles, and at U.S.C., where they were coached by McKay’s father, John.
